Heaven's Headlights
by alidaversa
Summary: No matter what he had done, Castiel had been this odd shining light for all of them, despite his mistakes. All he had ever tried to do was help, help heaven, help himself, help humans, and help the Winchesters. And Dean. Everything Castiel did, he had done for Dean. [DESTIEL]
1. Chapter 1 - Rebirth

Dying was definitely not the same for everyone.

Quite frankly, the whole thing annoyed Gabriel to an extent that he could not even properly describe. Death varied on religion, or lack of. Not everyone went to heaven for the simple reason that not everyone _believed _in heaven. If you did make it to heaven, well, even at that, Gabriel wasn't so sure that he considered it such a big deal anyway. Heaven had been good once, before Lucifer fell, and sometime between world war two ending and the Winchester boys screwing things up royally. Sure, they had, in their terms, "saved the world" but at what cost? Look at the tumble of side effects that had come from it. Of course, not even Gabriel really knew what would have happened if everything had turned out the way God had originally wanted. It scared him, that they had almost gotten to that point.

But anyway, back to death.

Just as it was different for humans, death didn't exactly apply to angels and gods, no matter what religion you belonged to. The fact of it was, for angels anyway, death was temporary. Sure, Lucifer had killed him, but angels can't stay dead. Some take a few thousand years to get reborn, but the powerful ones regenerated faster, Gabriel being one of them. And when he had come back from the dead, born again in all his glory, well he wished he would have stayed dead.

The world was a freaking mess.

Gabriel had come to a year after the Winchesters had been wiped off the planet. Well, wiped was the wrong word. More like brought down by their own demise, that summed up the situation better. The Winchesters were taken down by the only thing that _could_ take them down, each other. Gabriel didn't know the entire story, but the short version involved the mark of Cain and Dean becoming a demon. If that wasn't a plot twist worthy of the trickster himself, nothing was. Dean as a demon took a toll not only on Sam, but on Dean's actual soul, which, Gabriel thought was very odd that it was still intact. He had never thought of demons that way, with their human part still stuck inside, yelling and screaming for air. But he was, and human soul Dean had managed to scrape his way to the surface for just a moment and killed himself...or Sam killed him in mercy, because Dean begged. Gabriel never really listened to complete stories, but the point of it was, that Dean had died at the hand of a Winchester, either his own or his brother. What he _did _know was that Sam Winchester had committed suicide, but only after killing Crowley. Gabriel knew those boys and God if they could not live for each other, they would not want to live at all. Dean would not want to live as a demon, and Sam was at a point where he could not live without Dean, no matter what he tried to make everyone else believe.

At this point in time, heaven was already disbanded, but when the Winchesters were pronounced dead, Castiel fell apart.

It was that, oddly, that made God return and reclaim heaven.

No one knew how or why, but the moment Castiel gave up, God seemed to get his bravery back. He took heaven and put back soldiers and even went into hell to get Michael back.

Unfortunately, when God did that Lucifer took his chance to make his own escape, and the world crumbled quickly after. God did not interfere, but he sent his angels to fight. Most of them lost, some of them joined Lucifer. Michael's army was holding its own, but all in all, the world had gone to shit without "Team Free Will" protecting it.

That's what brought Gabriel to God's throne room that day. Balthazar, another reborn and missed brother was on his right hand side, a few paces back. They were there with a plan, one that they both knew God would have trouble refusing, because if there was one angel God loved as much as he had once loved Lucifer, it was Castiel. Castiel had changed the world.

But now it was Castiel who was changed. Gabriel had to save him.

Neither Gabriel or Balthazar could look up at God, mostly because his true form was so intense it could blind the angels. So they stared at the floor but Gabriel made sure that his confidence was inflating him, as per usual.

"Father," Gabriel said strongly. "I have something very important to discuss with you."

"Has something happened on Earth?" God didn't really have a voice, or maybe he did, but Gabriel only heard God in his head, their angel radio.

"No, it's about Castiel. He's only getting worse, as the days go by..." he hesitated but decided that the truth, no matter how ugly it was, would have to come out. "I think he's going to try and rip out his halo."

God was quiet for a while, and Balthazar shifted. Ripping out an angel's halo was worse than grace. Sure, a grace can turn them human, but taking an angel's halo away, that was true death. Like Gabriel knew, dying was different for angels. Stab them with an angel sword, take away their grace, but angels they remain on the inside, rebirth is inevitable. Taking away a halo from an angel not only turned them human, but old age would catch up with them and death would follow. There is no rebirth after that. But the taking of the halo was something so...so...utterly wrong, that not even Lucifer had attempted to take one from an angel. No angel had the heart to do that. Castiel wanted to follow his boys into the afterlife.

"Castiel would do no such thing." God said finally.

"Castiel _will_ kill himself." Gabriel continued. "He is diminishing in front of me, like a human who was starving."

"Angels do not need to eat."

"Exactly, but there he goes anyway, getting skinner and looking so unhealthy. Angels shouldn't get sick, but Castiel...Father, he will die. I truly believe that."

God was impatient. "What would you have me do, Gabriel?" but the tone of his voice suggested that he hoped Gabriel had a plan, because if they lost Castiel, the faith of the angels would get lost with him. No matter what he had done, Castiel had been this odd shining light for all of them, despite his mistakes. All he had ever tried to do was help, help heaven, help himself, help humans, and help the Winchesters. And Dean. God was blind to it maybe, but Gabriel and Balthazar weren't. Everything Castiel did, he did for Dean.

"Balthazar and I were thinking, and we came up with something that can help Castiel and the world." Gabriel said carefully. Before God could ask what, and before Gabriel could lose his courage, he went on quickly. "Bring the Winchesters back to life."

God's tone suggested that he was not surprised Gabriel had asked him of this. "I cannot do that. They chose to take their lives; it is not my decision to bring them back."

"No, it's not." Gabriel agreed. "I've taken that decision into my own selfish hands, for my brother, who will follow them if we do not do this."

God sighed irritably. "Castiel _lives_ in heaven, he can simply visit the Winchesters whenever he likes in their heaven."

But it was not that easy, not that Gabriel could even try explaining that to their father. Sure, Cas could waltz around through the different versions of heaven, looking for Dean and Sam, and when he would find them, then what? He would have a chat with their souls? Castiel hadn't tried, for one thing, he didn't know if Dean's soul was in heaven, having died as a demon and what would he say to Sam if he found him? What would Castiel say to the man who had to watch his brother die, killed himself and was now stuck in heaven without his brother? No, Castiel could not face that.

"Our world was never better protected than when the Winchesters were doing the protecting." Gabriel said. "No one can deny that. They are strong, and we will help them, Balthazar, Castiel and I. Michael too, if he gets his head out of his−"

Balthazar cleared his throat. Oddly, it was always sarcastic, blunt Balthazar that knew when to rein Gabriel back in. "Father," he said, in his lovely, smooth, accent voice. "We will stop Lucifer if you let us, but we need the Winchesters. The world needs the Winchesters."

"Oh," Gabriel grinned. "We're also here to ask for Chuck Shurley."

"The prophet?" God asked, surprised, but a warm admiration was clear in his tone. The angels weren't stupid, even though the Winchesters were, they knew that God had used Chuck for his needs, not as a vessel, but he had given Chuck so much more power than he had to the other prophets. Chuck was God's favorite human. "Why him?"

"He had a way with the Winchesters and Castiel."

"Many did." God said. "I cannot bring back every single person the Winchesters loved. Bobby Singer, the Harvells, their parents, Kevin. You ask much of me."

"We're only asking for Chuck." Balthazar said. "When Dean was thrown into the future, Castiel and Chuck were by his side."

"They all died in that future."

"Sam was Lucifer in that future," Balthazar continued. "Now he is not. Now he has us too, and he will have Chuck, that is the one piece of the future that we want to keep."

"You ask much of me, my sons."

"Actually we don't," Gabriel said with a smirk. "We've never asked you for anything, neither of us. Castiel has asked, and you have never answered him. You let him claw his way to truth and he has only ever found despair. Now it is your turn to help us, Castiel cannot help himself."

God sighed again. "He did love those boys more than his own brothers." he mumbled. "You were supposed to love each other, all of you. The Winchesters changed everything."

Gabriel almost snorted, he had no idea just how much Castiel loved a certain Winchester.

"I will grant it to you." he said. "Take Castiel to earth, to their grave sites. They will be there waiting, and will wake when he gets to them. As for Chuck...he will stumble across you."

"Thank you Father." Gabriel smiled gratefully.

"Gabriel, Balthazar...I'm counting on you two."

Gabriel and Balthazar bowed their heads before hurrying out of the throne room, transporting themselves immediately to where Castiel was. He was in the same place he was every day, in his version of heaven, which was now an old house and a junkyard, sitting on the roof of the same Impala that the Winchesters had driven. This was Castiel's heaven.

Except he looked like he was in hell.

He sat on that rooftop with a bunch of books around him that he never read, but they were all reminders to him of Sam, that great tall giraffe who always had his head in a book. But in this heaven, it was not the Impala, or Bobby's house or the books that made Castiel looked like less of himself, it was what he wore. He kept the tie and the white shirt, but had removed his trench coat which had fallen to the floor and had wished of heaven a replica of Dean's jacket, the exact one he had worn when they had first met. Castiel would have looked small in it anyway, but now that he was all skin and bones, he looked like a homeless man in something someone had handed to him to keep him warm. His hair was dirty and messy, his eyes had prominent circles under them, and they were always red his eyes, always crying.

His wings.

His gorgeous white wings were just as sad as he was. They drooped pathetically over the impala to the ground; they hadn't lifted themselves in days. The y were even losing their feathers.

Angels could not get hungry or sick, but Castiel was dying.

An angel dying in heaven.

Gabriel and Balthazar didn't take out their wings, mostly because they didn't want Castiel to feel bad about them, all shiny and white.

"Cas," Balthazar said sadly. "Cas, we're here with good news."

Castiel looked up at them like he didn't know who they were. He looked so unbelievably sad that it stumped Gabriel for a moment, Gabriel who always had something to say. "I was just thinking..." Castiel said softly. "Of when..." he quickly brushed two fat tears that rolled out of his eyes. "Of when I told them−" (Castiel was sure never to say their names, Gabriel suspected he could not bear it. "−I was going to be a hunter. He...He wasn't angry, even though he often looked like he was...he was always just so worried." he smiled sadly, his lips shaking. "I think he wanted me there, but was afraid of looking after someone else. His brother was already on his mind, all the time. He wanted to help me as much as I wanted to help him though; he tried to make me a good hunter."

"Cas," Balthazar said sadly. "Cas, we spoke to Father."

"Oh?" No, 'what did Lucifer do now', or 'oh, what are our orders', just 'oh'. That was how much Castiel did not care about anything anymore.

"Cas, he's going to bring them back." he said softly.

Castiel shook his head, closing his eyes. He huddled inwards, pulling the jacket tighter around him. "Please don't tease me, not now."

That hurt them both a little; that he thought his brothers would stoop that low for a prank. Not now, not like this.

Gabriel nodded. "He told us that if we go to their grave, they will be waiting. They will wake up when you get there." Because honestly, the Winchesters wouldn't want to wake up for anyone besides Castiel, and Castiel wasn't going to live for anyone besides the Winchesters.

He looked up at them with hope this time, but a fearful hope, one that tore both of his brother's hearts. It was so pathetically heartbreaking, to see this immortal man look up at those words like he was being given his first breath of fresh air. Like this is what he had been waiting for, like...well, like his reason to live had just been handed to him.

"Are you ready to go get them?" Balthazar asked him kindly, a bit too kindly that it made Gabriel uncomfortable, but he suspected that once Castiel was better and the Winchesters were alive, he would be back to his normal self.

"Yes." Castiel breathed out, exhaling, as though he had been holding his breath in for a year.

The three brothers took each other's hands. In an instant, wings out and but seconds later they had transported themselves to Bobby's Singer's old and wrecked home. It was oddly untouched despite Lucifer's apocalypse, this one place.

When they had died, right before Castiel made his way to heaven and into solitude, Castiel had burned the bodies and buried the ashes, putting crosses and marking their graves. It was a very weird thing to do, Gabriel thought anyway, but Castiel went on and on, talking about angry spirits and death wishes. Gabriel also didn't understand why he didn't bury them in a cemetery rather than some random old space behind Bobby's house, but Castiel insisted that the boys needed to be buried by their home. Gabriel didn't ever remember them living here, but he had stayed out of it. That was all he knew, of the one time he had asked Castiel what happened.

None of it mattered now.

Lying on the ground, looking brand freaking new, were Dean and Sam Winchester. The moment the angels landed on the ground, the brother's eyes snapped open. Dean's green eyes met with Castiel's blue ones, and the first words Cas heard him speak in a year were,

"Son of a bitch."

* * *

**Well I hoped you guys enjoyed it, I have to say, I really enjoyed writing it. I'm excited for this story. Please, if you liked it, tell me, I love to hear what you guys liked, disliked, or if you had your heart broken. I always respond in my next chapter, because I love interacting with you all. **

**Disclaimer: I own only words, nothing more. **


	2. Chapter 2 - Home

lesipiratecat: I'm glad I made you emotional :), sorry that this one is a little short, I had one window of opportunity to do it before I leave my house, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!

* * *

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, one hand out, trying to process what had just happened to him and Sam. Sam was sitting on a chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him, shifting his less confused gaze from the ground and then to his brother. He was smiling lightly, but it didn't reach his eyes, Castiel knew it was just to make the angels feel better, since Dean would definitely do no such thing.

Castiel was staring at him with wide eyes, and that small smile that he reserved only for him. The Winchesters were standing before himin all their original glory, Sam with his long hair and kind face, but God, Cas could only look at Dean. He was standing up, and those _legs_, God they managed to still look good in those blue jeans after all this time. His blonde hair was messy and a little dirty, and his green eyes were as bright as ever. But his physical attributes, that's not what Cas missed. He missed Dean's pacing, or his denial that was so strong he was able to not believe things that were right in front of his face. Or the way, that in this crowded room, Dean Winchester's eyes would find him. Cas only wished that he looked to Castiel for more than guidance.

"So let me get this straight," Dean said, looking at the angels. "We were dead, something Sam and I _both_ wanted, and you're telling me, you brought us back to life, _again_, even though we didn't want that."

"That is the basis, yes." Gabriel was looking at Castiel, waiting for him to speak, but Cas couldn't find it in him.

"And you're telling me," Dean crossed his arms. "That you brought us back, because Lucifer is out of hell, _again_, because God, _accidentally _let him out of hell. And you want us to deal with him, _again_."

"No." Gabriel said.

Balthazar was looking at his nails. "Boys, I think you are both being a little over dramatic, don't you agree?"

"No, no I really don't think so." Dean said.

Cas looked at Dean, finding it in himself to speak. "They brought you back for me, not just for Lucifer." he said quietly. Sam looked up at him with those expectant, large eyes of his and that horribly soothing smile that could break hearts. Castiel loved these boys, he loved them, he loved them, he loved them.

"Cas..." Sam murmured, but Dean was staring at Cas with an expression halfway between annoyance and surprise.

Castiel sighed. "I was in a bad place, my brothers were just trying to help me." he shrugged. He could not say the whole story, not right now. It was too early and it would make them sad, and Dean would blame himself for Cas almost dying even though he wasn't there to change anything; but of course that's why he was dying, because Dean wasn't there.

"Cas," Dean said, trying very hard to use his inside voice. "We were both finally at peace, and now we have to do this all over again."

"Well I was not at peace, Dean." Cas exhaled when he said Dean's name, because it felt like he was finally able to breathe again.

"Look," Balthazar waved his hand. "All this arguing is going to get us nowhere, the fact of the matter is that you two are back and are going to help us."

Sam stood up from his chair. "What about Chuck?"

"The prophet is supposed to stumble upon us sooner or later," he shrugged.

Dean half smiled. "Here's hoping he shows up in more than just his boxers and his robe."

Gabriel put his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Listen little bro, we're going to zip back up to heaven for a bit, give you some alone time with your men. Call if you need us."

"Thank you." Castiel couldn't say anything more, he didn't know what words described the joy he was feeling. He had forgotten the world was in the apocalypse, now that the Winchesters were here.

In an instant, Balthazar and Gabriel were gone, leaving Castiel and the Winchesters in Bobby's living room. For a moment, no one spoke, Dean and Cas staring at each other and Sam staring at each of them, his eyes moving back and forth as though he were watching tennis.

"You know," Sam said carefully. "Maybe we can go back home, do you think it's still standing?"

"It is." Cas answered. "I made sure of it, that and your car."

"Baby's okay?" Dean sighed in relief. "Oh good, if there's one thing that makes me feel better about all of this..." he trailed off when he saw the slightly hurt expression Cas wore. "Cas, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you, it's just...we were tired."

"Well I wasn't." Cas said quietly. "I was not done with either of you." _I never told you I love you_. "You both took it on yourselves to leave this place, and chose to leave me behind."

"Cas..." Sam shook his head. "It wasn't like that."

"It was." he sighed. "You two, you have always been my family, more than my brothers, but you are both the most selfish people in the world sometimes. It is not just about you two losing each other, there was me, and you left me alone."

"We're sorry, Cas." Sam said sincerely. "We really are."

"I know." he sighed.

Sam exchanged looks with Dean. "I'll go look around the house, see if there's anything we can bring us for our trip."

Dean nodded as Sam left, leaving him and Castiel alone. Dean walked up to Castiel and put a hand on his shoulder, electricity running all through Castiel. He was never safe around Dean, he felt like a bomb, ready to explode. From the day they had met, Dean had been frozen, in the presence of an angel, but Castiel had been more than just intrigued, he had been smitten immediately. Everything he had done from there on in had been for Dean. He had fallen for him, and he would do it again.

"What happened Cas?" he said.

"Balthazar and Gabriel already explained."

"No, I mean to you. What happened?" he was looking at Castiel with sad eyes, because even though Castiel's dying body had healed itself the moment the Winchester's had woken up (angels were good that way), Dean was looking past that, into Castiel's eyes. "You look dead."

"I felt dead." Castiel admitted. "I was dying. I didn't know what to do."

"You had a life before us, Cas."

"That doesn't mean I want a life after you." he said boldly. He almost said it then, because this was the right time, right now, right here. He could have told Dean that he loved him more than the angels loved their Father, or more than any woman that Dean had been with. He loved him in every way, for his anger, for his insecurities, for his pride and for his kindness. He loved Dean for all the love he held up inside him, for the way he came undone for his brother, and for being the only person who never lost faith in Cas.

"You'll have to have it one day." Dean said softly. "When Sam and I die again, you can't bring us back this time."

"You brought your own death on yourselves." Castiel slapped his hand away. "I could not bear it."

"It wasn't your decision Cas!"

"I didn't make the decision, Dean!" he yelled, his voice firing up. "My brothers did it for me, the same way your brother does everything for you. You brought each other back, over and over again, and then the one time it got a little harder than usual, you left!"

"It wasn't like that Cas."

"Then tell me what it was like, because I was in heaven for the past year, deciding whether or not to kill myself just to see you two again."

That stopped Dean in his tracks. His expression became full of sympathy, but Cas didn't want it. He didn't want him to feel sympathetic for him, he just wanted Dean to shut up and realize that he was back, and he wasn't a demon anymore and everything could go back to normal. He could do what he did best, save the world, and be with Castiel.

Dean walked forward to Castiel and hugged him, tight. Castiel, who had become accustomed to hugging thanks to Sam, hugged him back forcefully. He wound his arms around Dean, his forehead against his shoulder, his hands gripping Dean's jacket. Dean could never know just how sad Cas had been, he had shown up in his trench coat, but perhaps if he had went down with Dean's jacket; Dean would have understood the closeness he was missing. But it didn't matter now, because now, Dean was hugging him, and he smelt so good, and his body was real and Castiel was home.

Dean was home for Cas.

Sam cleared his throat in the doorway, Dean and Castiel breaking apart. He was smiling in that knowing way of his, and Castiel always suspected that Sam _did_ know more than he let on. He saw things in lights that Dean could not see, which was part of the reason why they were such a good team.

"Am I interrupting something?" he grinned, dropping some bags to the floor.

"No." Dean muttered, walking over and picking one up. "Found anything useful?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Batteries, clothes, journals, just random stuff but I packed it all, just in case."

"We should get going." he said. "Cas, the backseat is waiting for you."

Castiel smiled, it most certainly was. He followed Dean and Sam to the front door, but before they opened it, he put a hand on their shoulders. "I should warn you, it will not take long for word to reach Lucifer's ears that you two are back. Be prepared because when he strikes it will be with a fury."

"Don't worry," Dean said, "We got this."

Sam nodded and opened the door, but when he did, all three of them lost the ability to speak. Sam and Castiel's eyes traveled downwards, their mouths open, and for a moment Dean did the same before he burst into laughter.

"That's inappropriate." Cas scrunched up his nose.

"Jesus Chuck, next time, wear your robe."

Chuck Shurley was standing there, dirty, and completely naked.


	3. Chapter 3 - Almost

Sam was trying very hard not to smile, but it was becoming difficult not to. He was riding shotgun in the Impala, after they had _finally_ gotten Chuck to calm down and get dressed. Chuck and Castiel were in the back, Castiel with that far off distant look that he usually wore when he looked like he wasn't listening even though he was.

Dean was stressed, which was part of the reason why Sam was smiling, but it also had to do with the fact that slowly but surely their friends were coming back to them. Well, Balthazar and Gabriel were a bit of a stress, though the two angels both _had_ been helpful once upon a time. Besides, if they were brought back for Castiel's health than he supposed they must be good friends at least to him.

But mostly Sam was smiling because Dean kept looking in his rear-view mirror at Cas. Dean was not as obvious with his affection for Castiel. Cas was blunt in what he said, because when he had feelings, they were not to be hidden. Whatever he loved or hated, he voiced it. Dean, well, everyone who knew Dean even a little knew that the only thing he voiced his love for was Sam and the Impala. But anyone with two eyes, including the angels, knew that his heart was with that angel in the backseat. Sam had watched them for years, and he always poked and prodded at Dean to admit it, never outright telling him to, but asking him to talk about his feelings towards Cas. Dean only took it as an excuse to talk about what annoyed him.

But Sam still saw Dean's eyes travel to Cas, no matter the situation.

And well, Cas was so in love with Dean that Sam never had to ask him. He hoped he wasn't wrong about Dean, because he did not think that Cas could take that kind of rejection from one of the very few people he cared about most in the world.

When they made it to the home of the men of letters, Dean and Sam seemed to be a little more relaxed. It was protected heavily, even against Lucifer. Chuck got out of the Impala, his mouth hanging open lightly, rubbing his scruff and moving to the back of his neck.

"Wow, this is your house?" he looked at Dean, who was halfway between smiling and frowning.

"Yup." he popped open the trunk, taking as much as he can carry with Sam. Castiel took a bag and handed it to Chuck before he took one for himself.

"It's really..." he waved his hand around apparently at a loss for words.

"Come on," Sam shoved Chuck playfully. "Let's get inside before anything tries to find us."

"Sounds terrifying." Chuck scurried inside, Dean huffing and falling habitually beside Cas.

Sam opened the door and waited for them to all file in before him; he closed it and locked it, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Not that he wasn't happy to see this place, but the whole thing was very weird, them being alive and back here. So much had happened...this is where Kevin died, where Dean had become a demon, and where they had both died in turn. There were just as many bad memories as there were good ones.

"I'll bring Chuck to the guest room." Sam said, looking to leave Dean and Cas alone.

"I'll make us something to eat." Dean sighed. "Hopefully there are some things can we salvage." he mumbled.

"I can go out and get us stuff." Castiel said. "It will only take me about a minute."

"Maybe later, take a rest." Dean clapped Cas' shoulders.

"I don't need rest." he mumbled.

Sam chuckled and put his hand on Chuck's shoulder, leading him upstairs. They walked along until they were out of ear shot and Chuck looked up at Sam.

"I mean, this is crazy right?" he murmured. "Being back here? I'm just a writer, what am I supposed to do for you guys."

"You were never just a writer, Chuck." Sam opened the door for him, watching him walk in. Chuck sat on the bed for a moment.

"I was always just a writer." he said softly. "I wasn't able to help you then and I can't do it now."

"You did help us." Sam frowned. "You just didn't know what you were capable of."

"I'm capable of nothing. Even in the future that was supposed to happen, I died."

"Well, you're not going to die this time." Sam said confidently. He paused, crossing his arms. "How did you...you know..."

"I didn't," Chuck said. "When you guys changed the future, I didn't really die, I just, seized to exist." he chuckled brokenly.

"Was it the angels?"

"Maybe." he shrugged. "Who knows?"

Sam smiled sadly. "Well you're here now, and that's what matters."

"Right." Chuck forced a smile, but it did not reach his eyes.

* * *

Of course Dean was happy to see Castiel. Heck, he was happy to see his brother and Chuck too. He was partially happy to be back on earth, but there was so much happening that Dean didn't understand how to voice his happiness. He knew how to voice disaster, or stress, but every time Dean thought he could be happy, something or someone took it away from him. That is why he kept so much in. It was just easier that way, to survive.

Dean hadn't even noticed Castiel flitter off to the grocery store and back in less than a minute. Dean thought he had gone to the bathroom, until he remembered that angels didn't need to relieve themselves of anything.

"I brought you pie." Castiel said, like he was holding out a peace offering.

"Thanks Cas." Dean meant it too, he was grateful. He was also holding a bunch of other groceries, which he helped Dean file away, all in a nice, comfortable silence.

"I'm sorry Dean." Castiel said softly.

"For what?" he said, breaking up some eggs. He knew it was well past breakfast, but man Dean was craving some eggs and bacon right now.

"For not coming to find you in heaven..." he was walking closer to Dean, invading his space, giving Dean that annoying fluttering feeling that always erupted in his stomach when Cas was near him. Dean hated it just as much as he liked it.

"Cas, really, it's okay." Dean said quietly, he didn't tell Cas that Dean's soul hadn't made it to heaven. If that made Cas feel better than that was good, he didn't need to make the angel even more sad than he already was. It hurt Dean seeing him when he woke up, looking like a man who had cancer. He had recovered instantly, but that image was in Dean's mind, eating him from the inside out.

"I should have found a way to get you back. I just sat there and let myself become nothing."

Dean snorted. "You could never be nothing, Cas." Because Cas was everything. "Look, let's not keep talking about this. It'll get us nowhere. I'm back now, you're with me, and nothing else really matters."

Cas smiled, it lit up his face gorgeously. God, those blue eyes made him want to die. "You're right, you and me and nothing else." he put his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean winced, Cas' touch was fire to his skin, and it lit him up from his core to his head and all the way down to his fingertips.

"Well, and Sam and Chuck." he grinned, flipping over the bacon in the pan. He scowled when he noticed that it was burnt on the side. Cas made him forget these things, that food was being cooked, or that Dean was supposed to like women.

_NO!_ He told himself. He could not find himself back here again, even after being brought back. Before Cas there had never been a doubt in his mind about women, I mean sure, he was a guy who had no problem voicing his opinion and men he found good looking, but he had never been attracted to a man before. Maybe it was like Brokeback Mountain (Dean only ever told Charlie that he had watched that movie), you know, a man who was straight or straight-ish, and just fell in love with a man. Love was love, Dean knew that. He had nothing against anyone who wasn't straight, because as long as they weren't hurting anyone, he didn't really care.

But maybe that's how it was for everyone. Maybe people weren't straight or gay or nothing at all or everything in between. Maybe people just fell in love with whoever spoke to their soul.

_Jesus Christ, _Dean rolled his eyes to himself. _What the hell am I saying_?

"Set the table for me?" he asked Cas, who obliged willingly.

Dean finished with the bacon and the eggs and made some toast for them all. He contemplated potatoes but figured it would be too out of his way and he was too tired to care. Honestly, it wasn't all too late in the day but he was ready to sleep for another year.

Mind, hell hadn't been a picnic.

Sam and Chuck came down the stairs, Chuck looking like he was close to a mental breakdown.

"Breakfast is ready." Dean put out his arms. "Or supper. Whatever. Breakfast for dinner."

Chuck smiled gratefully and sat down next to Cas. Dean sat at the head of the table while Sam sat next to him. "Looks great, Dean." Chuck said, picking up his fork and beginning to eat. "So, not to put a cloud of despair on this very weird day, but what are we supposed to do?"

"Eat." Dean pointed his fork at him. "And then sleep."

"But what about tomorrow?"

"We'll deal with that when it comes." Dean said. He smiled at Sam's look of surprise, Dean was not someone who went anywhere without a plan. "Today we need to rest, I think that's the most we can do for now."

"Today is over," Castiel said. "Tomorrow is coming soon. Lucifer is no longer resting easy now that you three are back."

Chuck put his head in his hands. "But I'm not a Winchester."

"But you were God's favorite." Cas said bluntly. "All four of us...his favorite prophet, his favorite brothers and..."

"His favorite angel?" Dean smiled at Cas. "Well as much as you guys know I love being a pawn in the game of heaven and hell, we're going to do exactly what we did last time. We're going to do things our own way. Tomorrow, we'll call down Gabriel and Balthazar and we'll get this party started."

Cas' eyebrows scrunched together. "I don't think this will be a party Dean."

* * *

Castiel figured that if tomorrow they could all die all over again, there were things that needed to be said now. He had watched a lot of movies about moments like these, but Castiel never really understood a lot of thing humans did. He had once had sex, and he had kissed women, but Dean was different. With those women Cas had used all action, but with Dean, he wanted to use his words. He wanted Dean to know how much he cared for him, because for someone like Dean, he needed words just as much as he needed action. Words were important to Dean.

"Dean?" he knocked on the open door of Dean's bedroom.

"Hey Cas." he pointed to the TV in his room. "Do you know Game of Thrones is still playing? I guess Lucifer didn't give the apocalypse exactly like he thought we would." his beautiful legs were crossed over each other.

"Lucifer wants to rule now, not destroy it." Castiel said, but he wasn't here to talk about Lucifer.

"That Jon Snow is such a badass." Dean said happily. He looked at Cas who was awkwardly standing in the doorway. "Are you going to come in or what?"

Castiel smiled and walked forward to Dean's bed, sitting on it carefully. Dean didn't seem to mind, he didn't move. Cas sat similarly to Dean, doing his best to relax, ignoring the way his heart was beating loudly against his chest.

He had to do it now, he had no choice. He could not go again for so many years being in love with a man who kept dying on him. Whatever time he had left with Dean, it had to count for something. Even if Dean didn't love him back, even if it broke Castiel, he had to say it, to give himself peace.

"Dean." he said softly, watching a sword on the TV plunging in the heart of some character that he didn't know, but Dean seemed relatively happy about it.

"What's the word Cas?"

"Dean," he breathed. "I lo−"

"DEAN!" Sam barged in, looking extremely worried.

"What's wrong?" Dean laughed at something weird one of the characters did.

"Chuck's gone."


	4. Chapter 4 - The Deal

Chuck hadn't known how he had made it to...well, wherever he was. All he had known is that his ears had started ringing, and he had lost sight of the bedroom he had been in. Then, when he got his sight back and the ringing that went away, he was standing in some alley, probably very far from the Winchester home. At least he had his clothes on this time.

He patted his pockets, swearing under his breath when he noticed that no cell phone was in them. That had been one thing that they hadn't gotten around to yet. He looked around him, walking down the alley and frowning at the brick wall before walking back up the other way to the street. Not a soul was out on the streets, not a light was on. He frowned again, wondering how late it could be.

"It's not late at all," a voice made him jump. It shot through to him, turning his bones to ice. Chuck turned around quickly, his eyes widening at the man before him. "There's no one left that lives here, Chuck Shurley."

"Who are you?" Chuck asked, but he feared he already knew the answer.

It was the same man that Chuck had once written about, light hair, a kind face despite the angel that resided inside the man. Perhaps he had been brought back too, in the same way that Chuck, Dean and Sam had. He was dressed in a suit now though, with his hair done perfectly, his hands folded behind his back.

"You know who I am, Mr. Shurley," Lucifer titled his head. "Let's not play games of stupidity."

"Why am I here?" Chuck asked, wondering if his voice sounded a little braver than he felt. It probably didn't, his voice often shook and stammered. "Are you going to kill me?"

"No," Lucifer said with a smile. "I just want to talk to you, Chuck Shurley." he surveyed him. "It was hard trying to find a moment for me to have this talk with you since your return, but once I sent a very demanding prayer to God, he got you here by taping into your mind." he tapped his own forehead.

"What do you want to talk about?" Chuck thought that sounded stupid.

"You know, Chuck, you are even more interesting than the Winchesters are." he crossed his arms now. "The angels assumed the Winchesters were God's favorite play things, but no, it was you. When you died, the heavens cried for days."

Chuck accidentally grinned. "I don't feel very flattered."

Lucifer smiled. "You're my favorite human too, Chuck. You never tried to go against me, you minded your own buisness, wrote your books and tried to ignore everyone around you, including the Winchesters."

"Well look where that got me."

"It got you in front of me, the angel in control of this world now. An angel who is ready to make a proposition to you."

"Lucky me." Chuck half laughed, but then cursed himself inwardly. This was not the person he should be acting like a smart mouth to.

"It is no wish of mine to kill you Chuck Shurley, it never was. You've never crossed me. So you may side with the Winchesters for as long as you like, but when they die, because they will, you will have a place by my side so you choose."

"I thought you hated humans." Chuck murmured.

"But having God's favorite monkey by my side, that will burn him even more than your death." he put up his fingers, looking ready to snap them. "Nice talking with you ."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and Chuck was gone.

* * *

"Jesus Christ." Dean had his head in his hands once more, after Chuck had finished telling him about his interaction with Lucifer.

Castiel frowned. "That's a little rude." he narrowed his eyes at Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Cas, not now."

Sam had his arms crossed. "He sounds pretty confident that he can kill us."

"Can't he?" Chuck asked, his familiar panic rising up, making his voice go high pitched. "He did once before."

"In a future that never happened." Sam snapped. "We can take him down."

"With what, Sammy?" Dean sighed. "We have no plan, no weapons strong enough to take him down."

"We can get one." Castiel suggested. "Or forge our own."

"And then what?" Sam sighed. "March up to Lucifer's holding area and wipe him out? We all know it is going to be a lot harder than that."

"We have an army." Castiel suggested. "We have angels willing to help us."

"We need God." Chuck said, shaking his head. "God can defeat him."

Dean snorted. "God, right. God has never done anything for us before, I don't see why he would do something good for us now."

Castiel could not hold himself back. "God gave you me," he said quietly, but everyone heard him. Dean stared around at him with wide eyes, Chuck looking awkward and Sam looking knowing. Of course Chuck knew how Cas felt about Dean Winchester, he was, after all, a prophet.

"Cas, you know I'm grateful for you." Dean said awkwardly, his voice gruff, as though he was admitting something terrible. Like showing his affections for Castiel was the worst thing that he could do. Cas was happy now that he didn't tell Dean he loved him, Dean would not return it. He had trouble saying his feelings in front of his brother just about their friendship, never mind putting Dean in the spotlight of having his closest friend being madly in love with him.

Or maybe Castiel was just being over dramatic.

"You have no idea what God has done for you." Castiel continued. "What we all have sacrificed for the Winchesters. I am willing to sacrifice it all again, to die by your sides as we take Lucifer down with us."

"I don't plan on having you die, Cas."

"Since when do any of your plans, actually go according to plan, Dean?" his breath caught at the end, because he loved saying Dean's name more than anything in the world. Even though he was a little annoyed with him, just saying his name made him want to curl up next to that stupid, blonde fool and forget the rest of the world.

Cas had it bad.

Chuck was staring in between them and then rolled his eyes. "Is this a joke?" he asked Dean, directly, holding his hand out. "Are you that blind?"

Sam was grinning now, getting up from his chair and putting a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Relax, Chuck."

"Oh come on!" Chuck said. "After all this time, Dean is as dumb as ever!"

"Woah, rude." Dean put out his hands, as though surrendering. "Did I miss something?"

"You always do, Dean." Sam said with a smile, shaking his head. "Sorry Cas." he winked at him.

Castiel looked away. "I will go back to heaven for a while, converse with my brothers about our next line of action, I will see you all tomorrow."

Dean followed Cas. "Woah, hold on a second here." he reached out for Cas' shoulder and turned him around, staring at him hard. God, those green eyes made him want to die. "Cas, what are they talking about?"

"Nothing, Dean."

"Not nothing, it's something." he murmured stupidly. "Come on, if we're going to be going to war soon, it's best that we say everything we need to say." he squeezed Cas' shoulder. "Like you said, we could all die. If something is bothering you, say it."

"I wouldn't call it bothersome." Cas mumbled, taking Dean's hand off his shoulder softly. He held it for a moment too long before sighing and touching Dean's face. He jerked violently, his eyes widening, but didn't move away from Castiel, for which the angel was extremely grateful.

"Cas..." Dean was confused.

"You were never good at being loved, Dean." he said, before disappearing back to heaven.

* * *

Dean was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, wishing he had the energy to walk across the room to go get his ipod and turn it on. He really wanted to listen to music, or watch something to take his mind off everything Castiel had said, but he couldn't find it in him. As much as he wanted to forget it all, he knew he had to dwell on it to understand it.

This was what he wanted, wasn't it? To have Cas care about him the same way Dean did? What the hell was the point of anything else? They were brought back to life now, and in a shitty world, and maybe if Cas could be the one good thing he could have before he died all over again, then so be it. Maybe this time when he died, he could go to heaven and Cas could stay with him there.

Dean rolled his eyes to himself. He was already making plans for his death when he wasn't even done dealing with his life. He was here now, and he could make things different for himself. He could find a way to say everything he needed to say to Cas, to take all the bad things Cas thought about Dean and turn them around. He could show Cas that he did know how to be loved, and that he was worth being loved, Cas just needed to give him time. He wasn't used to this, being with a man; he had never been with one before. He had loved Lisa and he loved his brother, he even loved Chuck in a purely platonic way, but Cas was different from everyone else. Cas was the light in the darkness. Cas would be with him until the very end. No matter what trials Sam and Dean had been through, Cas had never left Dean. Even when Dean was angry at Cas, it was Cas who stood by Dean and fought for him, for his friendship and acceptance.

"Dean?" Sam said, coming in. "You awake?"

"Unfortunately." he mumbled.

Sam grinned and leaned inside the doorway, almost as tall as it. "I figured." he crossed his arms. "Anything on your mind?"

Dean frowned at the ceiling. "We've been back a day and can't avoid the brotherly talk." he sighed. "I'm fine, Sammy."

"I'm sure you're not." Sam chuckled. "Chuck was right, you're as dumb as ever."

"Being in denial and being dumb is not the same thing." Dean muttered.

"Denial..." Dean could hear the smile in Sam's voice. "So then you know you're avoiding something."

"How could this be more important than Lucifer?" he snapped. "We have to get ready for war tomorrow and we haven't been back a day and I'm already dealing with boyfriend problems."

Suddenly Sam burst into laughter and Dean cursed himself loudly, sitting up. He frowned at Sam who was smiling like an idiot at Dean's random, weird confession. Angry, Dean took his pillow and shot it at Sam.

"Shut up!"

"Boyfriend problems!" Sam yelled.

"I said shut up!"


	5. Chapter 5 - Demons

Chuck was sitting at the long table, his head in his hands, trying to ignore everyone around him. Dean doubted he was doing a good job of it, considering the people in the room were not exactly known for being quiet. Except, Sam maybe. Sam was pretty good at giving people peace. Cas too. Alright, so maybe it was just Dean, but still, there was too much going on right now for Chuck to just take the moment to himself and pretend like he didn't exist.

"That's a dumb plan." Dean said, looking around at Balthazar and Gabriel. Castiel was in the corner, quiet and pensive as usual. So naturally it came down to Dean to look like the bad guy and let them know that their plan blowed great big dick.

"Well, I don't know what it is you would rather have us do." Balthazar sighed dramatically. He was picking his nails, which only made Dean angrier. He doubted very much that the angel had anything underneath those perfectly trimmed nails of his. "What else is there beyond charging into Lucifer's headquarters and declaring war?" he looked up at Dean lazily.

"How about getting an army?" Sam said, sitting down by the table. He shook his head when he threw a look at Chuck, chuckling under his breath. He grabbed his water and drank half of it immediately.

"You have the angels." Gabriel looked at him like he was an idiot.

"It's not enough." Sam shook his head.

Castiel looked at the brothers. "What do you propose we do?" he sounded so tired, so broken, and they hadn't even done anything yet. Dean did not see how Castiel was going to survive this apocalypse. His mind shifted back to when he had seen Cas in the first potential end of the world in 2014. Castiel had been smiling sure, but in all reality, he had been the most broken form of himself. Dean did not want Castiel to revert back to that. That was not the Castiel he...cared for.

Sam looked at Dean before saying. "We round up some humans; get word out on the street that we are back." he sighed. "People have to know who we are. There are always underground organizations waiting to rebel."

"This is not a hollywood movie," Balthazar pointed out. "Thank God."

Dean ignored him, because he was close to punching him in the mouth. "Maybe some demons too," Dean offered lightly. "You never know who will be unhappy with Lucifer."

Chuck smacked his hand on the table and stood up so fast that his chair fell backwards. He looked around in frenzy, at all of them, laughing madly. Dean frowned.

"What the hell?"

"The gods." Chuck said.

"What?"

"The Gods!" Chuck exclaimed, tripping over his chair. Gabriel, who was nearest, helped him up. "The other Gods! We have been running around like chickens without heads, when we can ask help from the other gods! Odin, and all them. They all had a problem with Lucifer, we might as well put them to use!"

Dean smiled and clapped his hands. "That is awesome, Chuck!" he clapped him hard on the shoulder, Chuck making a small sound of protest. "We need to find all kinds of books to summon these bastards."

Gabriel and Balthazar both shook their heads. Gabriel pointed between the two of them. "Leave that to us, hot shot."

"What about me?" Castiel asked. "Would you like me back in heaven?"

"No." Gabriel said. "Someone has to protect the monkeys."

"Blow me." Dean snapped.

"I won't," Gabriel grinned. "But Cas might."

The two angels disappeared, and instead, an awkward silence filled the room. Castiel was blushing madly while Dean was staring at Sam with an expression of pure horror. Chuck however, was so excited about his plan, that he had not noticed anything that had just happened around him. He was rambling on, Sam trying his best to pay attention to Chuck and the others, Dean and Cas avoiding each other's gaze like the plague.

So Sam Winchester, the boy who knew too much, decided to finally take matters into his own hands. "We need supplies." Sam said suddenly, giving Dean a look that suggested Dean should understand the implications behind his brother's words.

"What?" Dean stared at him, raising an eyebrow. Castiel was looking between the two of them, either just as confused as Dean was, or he was just using his classic Castiel expression. Dean could never really tell.

"We need _supplies_," he said again. "Things to last us on the road, if we ever need to run. You should go get some, and take Cas with you for protection."

Castiel frowned. "I do not think I will be much help."

"Don't be an idiot." Dean snapped. "Come on, let's go."

"Dean, I−"

"Cas, really, don't." he put up his hand. Dean grabbed his jacket and led the way outside, not even looking to see if anything nasty was waiting for them. Castiel was in the car before Dean got in, but the hunter wasn't surprised about it. He had grown so used to Castiel's antics of showing up and teleporting, even though Dean preferred when he didn't.

They began to drive, and the ride was long and painful. For more than one reason.

For starters, it was terribly quiet. Castiel looked like he was having an anxiety attack and Dean was sitting and stirring in his own anger and confusion. He hated playing this game, of not knowing what people meant by their words and not just knowing how Castiel felt. Dean felt like the real idiot though, he didn't even make the effort to know what Castiel was feeling. He just sat in the driver's seat and thought about the man next to him, with his messy dark hair and those beautiful blue eyes, and the hard body that resided underneath that dumb trench coat.

Dean thought of those things a lot, and he hated it. He thought it was wrong, in the beginning, all those years ago when Cas had first shown up. But now he wondered how on earth he could have thought that at all. How could he ever think that anything with Castiel could be wrong? Anything that would happen, if it turned out good, it could only be right. That's all there was.

He thought about undressing Castiel, slowly, because Dean knew he would have to take the lead, no matter how much it would irk him to do it. He didn't prefer that, Dean enjoyed being taken rather than doing the taking himself. Even when he had slept with women, he much preferred being under them than over. Unfortunately, he never found women who appreciated that about him.

Castiel had sex once too, with a human girl, Dean couldn't remember her name. She had killed him though, that stupid bitch. That was a terrifying moment for him, to have to think even for those few seconds that he would stay dead. That there would actually be a world without Castiel. A world without that beautiful soul.

Speaking of the world, it was a lot nicer than Dean thought it would be. He was expecting the world to look like the 2014 version that he had seen, but it was pretty well put together. It was like Dean had never died. The world was advancing, technology was still alive and well, people were on their way to work or school, or hanging out with friends. Superficially, it was quite beautiful.

But any one of these people could be demons. Hell, they could all be demons. Because that was their reality now, the reality was that any one on these streets could break out and try to kill them, or an innocent. Lucifer ruled, the people knew it, and they were probably too terrified to go against something stronger than them. Because this wasn't nuclear war, this was worse.

"Dean," Castiel's voice made Dean jump, but apparently, the angel did not notice. "You missed the store." he tapped on the window.

Dean hit the brake suddenly, a few cars honking behind him. Dean put his blinkers on so the cars would go around and pass, and before he realised it, he was shaking.

"Dean?" Castiel asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"No, Cas, I'm not." Dean turned around, his pained expression all over his face.

"Tell me what's wrong, Dean."

Dean sighed. "Cas, I−"

But Dean was unable to finish his sentence. The same cruel twist of fate that they so usually had took advantage of them once again. A gunshot sounded, it came firing through the Impala, crashing through the window and hitting Dean in the shoulder. He yelled out in pain, Castiel acting quicker than Dean had ever seen, his blue eyes becoming hard and intense, reaching into Dean's wound to remove the bullet; ignoring Dean's yells, and healing the wound quickly. But a second later, someone landed on the hood of the car and on the roof of it, denting it. Dean swore, kicking his door open right before another shot sounded. He turned and Castiel's angel blade slipped out from his sleeve, the angel suddenly on the roof of the car with a black eyed demon. Dean grabbed the leg of the one on the hood of his baby, the road clearing for the battle taking place between the four men, scared people running off the streets.

Dean dragged the demon to the floor, punching him hard in the face. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled, then grunting when the demon kneed him in the groin. He fumbled around with the demon, fighting him recklessly, a lot of anger pouring out needlessly. He could easily kill the demon; the way the demon was having trouble made Dean wonder if it was a newbie. But Dean was mad, and wanted to get out all that anger before he killed.

But then an angel blade went right through the demon's head.

"Damn Cas." Dean looked up at him. "I was having fun."

"Dean." Cas said sharply.

"What?" he got up, and turned around. "Oh my god."

There were two dozen demons on the streets, waiting for them.


	6. Chapter 6 - Kissed

"You ready?" Dean asked Cas.

"Not really." Cas admitted.

"How about now?" a voice said from behind them. Gabriel was grinning at them, Balthazar by his side, both of them with their angel blades out. Gabriel threw one to Dean, who caught it smoothly.

"Here we go." Balthazar grinned, and within a blink of Dean's eyes, he had appeared behind a demon and stuck his angel blade through the back of his skull.

The demons charged and so did they, Gabriel and Balthazar moving quickly through the hoard of demons, but Castiel was being sure to stick by Dean in battle. He could not have Dean get hurt, not after all this, not after getting him back. It would not end here on these streets.

Dean of course, was a brilliant fighter. He was not as graceful as Cas was, more blunt and brutal with his blows, but he got the job done nonetheless. For Dean, as long as whatever he was hunting was killed, it didn't matter how it happened, so long as it did happen. The demons kept coming, strong things to, throwing Dean off his game once and a while, but that was why he had Castiel, to help pick him up. But it would be no much even though they were outnumbered. Angels just had to shine a little bit brighter and they easily burned the demons up, taking away some of Dean's fun it seemed, but Castiel preferred it like this. He felt better, when these battles ended as quickly as they did, it gave him a sense of peace.

So when Castiel put his hand on the demons face, burning him where he stood, he looked back at Dean who stuck an angel blade through the demon's chest, watching with a glare as the demon crumpled to the ground. Castiel wondered if it hurt Dean even a little to kill the things he had once been.

"Well, that was fun." Balthazar said lightly, unlike the others, he had no blood on him. Balthazar was a great fighter, but cared more about keeping himself looking tidy rather than doing what had to be done. "But it did interrupt our day." he pointed to himself and Gabriel.

Gabriel nodded. "You two idiots just caused a lot of attention to yourselves." he informed them. "Cas, I suggest you pop Dean back on over to the safe house, and you make your visit to the store quick. Word on the street will travel fast, and they're going to start looking for you."

"What are we supposed to do?" Dean snapped. "Go on the run?"

"You bet your ass." Gabriel said. "Move to freaking Europe. You're drawing a shit load of attention, which we can't afford right now, not until we have a proper army to back us up."

"Work faster." Dean hissed.

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but Castiel had already taken it upon himself to transport himself, Dean and the impala back to the house. Dean whirled around, ready to get a little mad at Cas, but the angel was gone, most likely to retrieve whatever it was that Sam had sent them out for in the first place. Honestly, Dean could not care less right now. He went inside the house and slammed the door, Sam and Chuck nowhere to be found. He was a little glad for that, Dean needed a few minutes to sit in his own anger.

What the hell did the angels want from him anyway? Fight or flight? Dean didn't run away from things, even when they did try to kill him. He believed in his cause, in fighting against evil, and what the hell was running going to do for them anyhow? If Lucifer was ruling the planet, no matter where Dean would go with Sam and Chuck, they would be found. So what the hell was the point of running? Why not stay here, where he was in the same place as Lucifer, get stronger and come up with a damn plan. Right now they were just playing house! Christ, what was the point of even coming back to life if he was going to sit here like a useless lump.

"Dean," Cas' voice made him jump. He had a wealthy amount of bags with him, and Dean noticed that at the top of one of them was pie.

Dean couldn't help smiling at that. Jesus, Castiel took care of him. That's what he had to remember now. That this idiot in a trench coat, with those heartbreaking blue eyes was the reason he was alive, because Castiel needed him. Whatever Dean was angry about didn't matter as much as that. It had to be about Castiel now. Dean always made things about him and Sam, from the moment Cas entered his life. Castiel was always okay with it, always did what Dean asked, always put his own neck on the line to try and help the Winchesters. Now it was Dean's turn. Not for God, not for those two idiot angels, and not even for his brother. Now it was for Castiel.

No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more.

Dean got up and walked over to Cas, determination welling up inside him.

"Dean?" Cas looked horribly confused, but Dean took advantage of the situation.

He grabbed Castiel's face with both of his hands and crashed their lips together.

Castiel had waited a long time for this.

His lips were on fire, every piece of him igniting, from the hairs on his head all the way down to his toes. Dean Winchester was kissing him; Dean Winchester had his tongue in his mouth. Holy shit, Cas could not even begin to understand what was happening. He hadn't known Dean felt the same way about him. He wished he had known sooner, all the time they could have saved...

but now wasn't the time to think about that. Now was the time to think about Dean touching him, Dean's lips, and Dean's tongue. Cas moved too fast, pushing Dean back a little too forcefully, backing him into the table. Dean grunted a little, running his hands over Castiel's sides while Castiel balanced himself by putting one hand on the table, another on Dean's lower back.

He tasted so good.

Castiel wondered if that was a weird thought to have. Dean was different from the very little experience Castiel had. There were real feelings with Dean, pure, true love, and that made this even better than he imagined.

Dean was clutching at him desperately, curling the trench coat in his hands, crumpling it. Castiel shifted, sliding his hips against Dean's, loving the friction of the whole thing. Dean moaned into his mouth, lightly, more like a sigh, like this was all they needed in this generally crappy world.

Dean needed to breathe, so he pulled back, grinning stupidly at Castiel.

"Damn. Waited too long to do that."

Castiel couldn't agree more.


End file.
